Going down stairs. It was like going int a past world. A world that I was once a part of. I found my Romanian Bird whistle that Sarah gave me when I was nine. And a note from Emily from a few years back. I was reminded of how silly we were, back then. But also I was reminded of the way things were when I didn't see as clearly as I do now. the memories were foggy, and blurred together. Memories of when I would sink into my own mind and not come out for days, weeks, sometimes months.
But I see now how harmful that can be. When the only things you truly see and hear are from yourself...When you don't let others in.
But thing are different now. Different is not always better. Different can hurt. But this difference has brought with it, a joy unlike any I have had before. I know that the joy and the difference came from Him.(God) From loving him as best I can and trying to love others in the way that I know he loves me and them.
There was something inside of me. holding me back, not letting me be what I knew I was capable of. I am glad to tell you all that it has left. I don't know when it left, or how, but it is gone.
"And so it took doing down to realize that I was realy going up..."
Oh, Beth. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so profound, and poetic.
This is the kind of thing that feels like it rhymes without actually rhyming...
And the last line could definately be made into a song.