Leavin' Home and Commin' Home.

Tomorrow marks the END of my first semester here. I feel like I should be wandering around in sandals and short sleeves, not knowing anyone, or what to do with myself... Man, I'm glad that part is over. I'm glad that I belong here now.

I'm also glad that I'm going to be on break soon though. I feel like this: It's easier to be myself back in St. Louis, because people know what I'm like already. I guess some do here too, but not to the same extent. I feel like everything I do here is forming an opinion in the minds of other as to what kind of person that I am. It's true; that is what is happening. In one way, i like that, and it's really exiting. But at the same time, it will be nice to not have to worry about that for a while.

Also, I'm a little nervous about next semester... I'm already asking myself why on earth I'm taking 18 hours... But I can do it!(I think) Here is my reasoning behind it all:
This semester I took 15 hours (6 Classes), and got by with pretty good grades, and pretty much no organization of...anything. So if I actually work ahead on easy things over break, and be organized and all that poop, then I'm sure I'll be fine... I guess only time will tell.

Speaking of grades, I was surprised yesterday by a ridiculously easy OT final, which brought my grade up to barely an A. But it's still an A, and Dr. Miller in my new favorite person in the world.

That is all.

laundry list

I've been meaning to post for quite some time now. I've accualy started several post, but then (due to time constraints or something like that) not finished them. So sorry 'bout that.

Anyway, here is a list of some things that are on my mind. Because if I actually typed them all out in detail, I'm afraid you would all get bored, old or (more than likely) both by the time you were done reading it.

1. I can't wait till thanksgiving. I really miss St. Louis. (for the people, not so much the place its self)
2. I love this College (again, mostly because of the people).
3. WINTERFEST! There is practically nothing that could stop me from going (like always, but more so this year than others).
4. I've been getting the feeling lately that I'm not going to be home from college as much as others (and by that I mean people at other schools). For many reasons. I think I like that fact.
5. (to go along with #4) I've been realizing lately, that home is not so much a place as it is a concept, and I find myself very, very blessed to have more than one.
6. RANDOM FACT! I'm listening to Emery right now, and they make me feel cool, cause I'm a nerd.
7. God is amazing.

And that is all... for now.

My First Blog post From College!

So here it is. I meant to blog about a week and a half ago, but couldn't for a few reasons.
1. I had no Internet.
2. Even if I had had Internet, I wouldn't have had time.
But now freshmen weekend is over, and so is the first week of class. And I have a bit of time before I have to go get stated on homework. Most of which is reading the bible. By the end of the semester, I will have read the entire Old testament, (and the new, If I go on with the summer reading) and the book of John twice. Plus analyzing 1 Peter, and Jonah.

And I like my hall. Allot.

Yesterday was kind of the best I've had in what seems like a long time. (it feels like I've been here for at least a month) Not that other days were bad, but yesterday was really fun. I had class all day till two, then at three, I went and tried out for choir, and made it. (but they say that pretty much everyone dose, so don't be to impressed.)
Then last night there was an all school picnic at a nearby lake! (not the whole school actually came)
On the way there and back, a bunch of us sang praise songs and stuff. It was great, and and reminded me of home. After we got back, we went to the lounge, and did some more singing, followed by a game of Psychiatrist. And NINJA! But it was slightly different than our ninja, cause you could move anywhere, and attack anyone! So that was great.

So there is a little update on my life. There is so much more I could say, but I'll wait.
I love you all, and can't wait to see you all (in September)!

I'm such a nerd.

You see, I've been talking to my roommate over email, and we just (literaly, just. As in, about ten minutes ago) became facebook friends. She seems really cool... I feel so dumb when I first meet people. But I'll get over it.

p.s. WHY HAS NOBODY BLOGGED IN FOREVER?... Dear summer, you are stupid. Never end. Love Beth.

The Sun Will Come Out.

Sometimes Life momentarily loses it's beauty. Today was one of those days for me. I was with my friends nearly all day, and I liked my friends nearly all day too. But sometimes life just gets dull.

Like a piece of silver that has tarnished and lost it's shine over night.

I tried hard to look at the normality that surrounded me and see beauty in it. I tried to stretched my mind into loving the common things that were all around, pressing down silently on my resolve. But I failed.

My prayer tonight is that I don't let the days look like this anymore.

Tomorrow I'll be different (my hearts eternal cry).

Tomorrow I'll be better. I'll live outside of my own head; Outside of the vanity that so often consumes me, and I will be what I was meant to be. It would be easier if I knew what that looked like.

Tomorrow, I will not use the word "I" so much.

How often we put all of our hopes and dreams into our tomorrows. I wonder If they feel pressured to be perfect? I would.

But why not hope hope for today?

"Because it is too late for today."

Well, I'm back from Bequia. It was amazing. I made some friends. That surprised me. I'm really not good at talking to people. Even children. It's just something that dose not come naturally or easily. So I know that God was working in me. It's so exiting! And it's not over. I gave my address, to three little girls from the VBS. They are sisters. Kima who is nine, Tasya who is eight, and Ashanti who is seven. They don't go to church, but they came to vbs every single day. Tasya -the middle girl- clung to me all week simply because I played football with her the first day. Things like that have got to be God. I'm not even athletic.

Guys, Pleas pray for these kids. Not just the sisters, but all of them. Cameron said that allot of the kids there (including the sisters) are street kids. That means that their parents are working all day, and they are left to fend for themselves. Plus allot of them are coming from really broken homes, and it was apparent. They were all so hungry for love. leaving was hard.

Also, I made friends with one of the teens, which was even MORE shocking and exiting. Her name is Angelique, and she is thirteen. She was in mine and Graces' small group all week, but barely talked. By Thursday, she was starting to warm up. Conversations and games were easy, and she was even asking a few questions in the study. Friday morning, we invited all of the teens to go swimming at the beach near our house. Angelique and I got to talk for a bit while everybody else was off walking, and she really started to open up, and talk about her family and just some stuff we had talked about during the week. Pleas pray for the teens too. Many of them are really full of passion, and want to serve God. Just pray that they will be examples for the rest of the church, and become leaders, because I know that they can.

Anyway, there are one Billion more stories that could be told (and will be if you ask me in person). But the week was great. I'm really exited about all of the relationships that we made, and just to see what happent next. Because no way this is the end.

JOOOON!

Well. I have not blogged much as of late. First it was because I was off campin' (which was hard, wet, tiring, kind of awful, and really wonderful, all at the same time) . After that, I had a suprisingly busy week of friends and family, and Bequia meetings. That brings me to this weeks endevors; getting ready for Bequia. I really can't wait. I feel like this trip is just really suposed to happen, and that God has brought together just the right people for it. I can't wait to see how He is going to use each of us! It's SO exiting.

I love the thought that God is using me, and lately in my life, it's been undenyable. I've really seen how He has used my past to teach me things that I need to know now. And I can see how the things that are in my life now, are helping to shape my future. The crazy thing is that I have no idea what that future will be, but I can see and feel it coming none the less. * deep sigh * ... life is beautiful... And God is amazing. Never forget those things, ok?

But back to Bequia. As I said, I feel like God will do big things, and I know that he can. I want you all to pray for us though. although it is not really us, but God in us that wil make any differance, we, as a team, need your prayer. there is so much that none of us really know how to handle. Just with the culture differances that we will be facing; they are huge. I feel like I won't be able to relate to them, but God can use anyone. Even a bunch of white suberban kids. Just pray, ok? God is moving.

My thoughts are not verry clear at the moment. Sorry for that. but I'll try and blog again before I leave. If not, see you all in July!