"These thoughts of mine are random."

"Jack Bauer is a stud." -My Dad!

I just had to share that. it was the best part of my day so far.

Anyway, Things improved after spring break. In many ways. My schedule is better, and busier. I like it though. Only 6.5 weeks of school left till summer. I'm pretty sure I'm going to Calvary. and that makes me so exited and so afraid at the same time. I know it going away will be good for me, and I'm sure I will like it once I get used to it, but as you may well know, I am very bad at change.

Also, before the break, life felt, for lack of a better word, just sort of disjointed. Not bad, just sort of not normal, and not quite lined up right. I don't know if I'm even making sense, but that's OK!

So after this Sunday, I really want to read the book of Hosea. I've read some of it, and I know the story, but I think I want to understand it better. So I'll probably do that. Also, I may read this book again. (for the millionth time)

That is all for now, but expect more in the near future. I just re-realized how much I really like blogging.

Where?

Grapes. Emery. The smell of last year on my hands. It helps.

Just today.

I got this book today at the Library.

I already love it. It's all about how people have used codes since the dawn of time, and it talks about Hieroglyphs, and other ancient kinds of writing. I also talks about the people who used them, like the Free Masons, and Christians in early Rome, and I could go on and on, but I will spare you.

The more I say the word "Codes" the more I think the it could also be a really funny nick-name for the name Cody. (But spelled with a "z" of course)

Also, I really like Spanish class. It is my favorite.

Lastly, I want it to be spring. SO. BAD!

That is the end. Good bey.

Across two February's

Well, I was just reading over some old posts that I wrote, about this time last year. I wrote so much last February! It makes me feel like such a slacker. Also, I feel SO dumb! I had written about allot of good thoughts. ones that could have affected me so much more if only I had let them. But instead, I just let allot of them fall out of my head. But at least I wrote them down, so I can be reminded, and maybe if I read them enough, they will stick one of these days. It also makes me miss last year.
Which makes me feel old.
I don't know why though. I know that I'm not.

Also today, I'm in a very strange sort of mood. I really don't know how to describe it. But it is not new to me. It's not a bad mood, just... well, I really don't know. Just sort of off.

...the end.

Question of the day:

If all humans on earth since the dawn of time had been born with a pair of salad tongs in place of one hand, and the lid to an ice bucket in the place of the other, what would our lives be like?

This is a diagram that I drew... just because.

This question came into my very strange head, when I found a racket ball, and shortly after, an ice bucket lid, and some salad tongs. I tried to invent a game out of the three things, but it is harder than it might seem. That was when I figured that if the above question was less of a "what if" and more of the truth, then life would be very different. The games we play, the way we live... there would be no need for gloves. then what would we call glove boxes? It was too big of a question to keep inside. So I asked my dad. This is what he said (but not the exact words);

If we had no hands, and therefore, no oppose able thumbs, we would still be foraging for barriers, and eating roots.

Apparently, to my dad, thumbs are the pinnacle of human development. That is something that I don't quite understand. But we, as humans (with thumbs) are not made to understand everything. Maybe if we had tongs and bucket lids. Maybe.

Life, and such.

My life. Today, I love it. And I will tell you about, and assume that you care because you are reading my blog.

First off, school. I really like my classes this semester, even though they are allot more work than last. I cant feel my self learning and I love it. Quick question... Do any of you get these head ache sort of things after you have been studying for a while? It doesn't really hurt, it just feels kind on tense, like your head is full and tiered of concentrating. I always thought that is was normal, but the other day, I told my mom, and she had no idea what I was talking about.

Also, I dropped my painting class, and am trying to get into creative writing II, because it was my favorite class last semester. I'm gonna call the professor when I'm done with this, and that sort of freaks me out, because I don't like talking on the phone at all. it makes me uneasy just talking to my friends. So it's worse when it's a stranger, and we are talking about important things... oh well. I guess that I have to get over that some time.

in other news, I found this little heart hole punch the other day, and it reminded me that it is almost Valentines day. I don't usually care about this particular day of the year, but the heart hole punch was so cute! so I have been making cards for the past two week, and I'm not gonna lie. some of them are really cute.

so that is about all. Yeah, my life is not the most exiting... but it is my life, and I like it. So, the end.

Burn

The other day I was thinking about "the call of god".

(Disclaimer: I don't know what I'm talking about! I'm not a theologian or anything. these are just my thoughts.)

I was just thinking about how this has played into my life (though it is a short one, so far), and that sort of thing. It is something that I have thought about quite a bit. especially over the last year or so. But this morning I realized something that I think might be key. I realized that every time in my life that I have heard God "calling" me, it is not when I'm striving to hear from Him.

I suppose to some extent, I am always striving to hear Him, So maybe I should specify what I mean. I guess I should say, obsessing about making plans, and almost worrying about what it is I should be doing with my life. Obsessions don't do us much good in this life (unless it is about God).

But anywho, I was realizing that the times when I feel the most called to do something, it is not when I'm asking him to, but when I'm simply focusing on Him, and trying my best to love Him, and those around me. Then I thought about this analogy. Its pretty a pretty commonly used parallel, but it fit here, too.

Ok, so you know how the bible says that we are the light of the world? well, it's true. I see it like this: Every person in the world is like a tea candle. But at first, we are not lit. we just wander around in the dark, bumping into other unlit tea candles. And God is like the sun. But he is So bright, and hot, that he can't really reveal Him self to us, except in small doses. So, one day, he sent a match along (Jesus), so that some of us could be lit, and in turn light up others.

So, you might ask, "how dose this relate at all to God will for our lives?" Well, you see, even after we are lit, our flame is pretty small. We can only illuminate a small area around us. Just one tea candle in a dark room does not do much. You need allot of them to really be affective. So God who is light, and is the only one who knows all of the little lights, -lit and unlit- sometimes brings many of them together, and makes a bonfire, and turns a bunch of tiny flames into something more. But we are small, and without him, are just stumbling around, only aware of our own little circles of light. we can't see the big picture, that is a darkened world. when we try to seek out the bonfire that he has for us on our own, we fail. but if we just focus on burning as bright as we can, while keeping in mind that it is His light, and not our own, then he will lead us to where we need to be. He can and will-if we let him- do great things with us.

... So go little candles, and burn for the one who lit you.