Breaking the Awkward Silence

I know I haven't posted in a long time...I hope my few followers didn't lose their patients with me. I've been afraid to post, and I can't tell you why. I mean, I really can't. I don't even know why, so it's not like I'm keeping secrets or anything. If I knew why I was afraid, I'd tell you.

Anyhow, I've listened to this song about one million times in the last few weeks, and it's good. It seems strangely applicable to me lately.(Only the verses) again, something I can't explain to you guys. Sorry. but here are the lyrics, and you should listen to it some time. it's very good.


THE ISLAND
They say the skies of Lebanon are burning
Those mighty cedars bleedin’ in the heat
They're showing pictures on the television
Women and children dying in the street
And we're still at it in our own place
Still tryin’ to reach the future through the past
Still tryin’ to carve tomorrow from a tombstone...
But Hey! Don't listen to me! this wasn't meant to be no sad song .

We've heard too much of that before 
Right now I only want to be here with you Till the morning dew comes falling And I wanna take you to the island  Trace your footprints in the sand 
And in the evening when the sun goes down We'll make love to the sound of the ocean
They're raising banners over by the markets 
Whitewashing slogans on our shipyard walls 
Witchdoctors praying for a mighty showdown No way our holy flag is gonna’ fall 
Up here we sacrifice our children To feed the worn-out dreams of yesterday And teach them dying will lead us into glory...
But Hey! Don't listen to me! 

cos this wasn't meant to be no sad song .
I've sung too much of that before 
Right now I only want to be with you Till the morning dew comes falling I wanna take you to the island And trace your footprints in the sand 
And in the evening when there’s no one around We'll make love to the sound of the ocean

Now I know us plain folks don't see all the story 
And I know this peace and love's just copping out 
And I guess these young boys dying in the ditches Is just what being free is all about 
And how this twisted wreckage down on main street Will bring us all together in the end 
And we'll go marching down the road to freedom... Freedom……. Freedom

new blog

So I have a new blog.( http://like-trees-in-november.blogspot.com/)
For writing, and art and things of the like. I have put some on this blog, but I like the idea of having a different one for that stuff, and then this one for stuff like thought and things that happen in my life. So if you interested...

umm...hi. it's me.

So it turns out that I have not blogged in a long time... Don't know why.
Also, I don't know why I'm blogging now, other than, I haven't blogged in a long time.
Classes are pretty easy. but only one it stupid, so that's good.

Tonight was sufficiently un-enthralling. I watched the office, and felt silly for being so happy for two fictitious characters. I walked to seven eleven in the rain with snow boots on. I don't know why, it just seemed like the thing to do. then, when I got home, I threw a peppermint at the wall. it bounced back and landed on my shoulder. I took that as a sign, and put it back in the candy dish. Next, I poured cold hot chocolate into an old milk jug, one forth cup at a time.

So... my life is not usually this ... odd.
Neither are my blog posts. I promise the next on will be more interesting.
Till then,

The Button Man

The Button Man

The Button Man is angry
As he holds his quivering light
Because the Button Cat just woke him
In the middle on the night

Those wretched stairs he’ll have to climb,
That hall he’ll have to tread;
They are so very cold and hard.
The make him miss his bed

What could that irksome pussy want?
So urgently she mews,
The Button Man begins to think,
“This could be all a ruse.”

That cat has never ceased to be
The bane of Buttons days.
His time is spent, alone on her
But secretly… she pays.

You see, our little button friend
Has quite an evil side.
That’s what him calm exterior
So aptly tries to hide.

When pussy isn’t watching,
Her doom he tries to plot.
But up until this moment
It all has been for naught.

The latest scheme he’s thought of
Is a rather gruesome one
And he’s thinking that this midnight
Is when it should be done.

As he comes upon his kitty’s spot
With an evil grin,
He opened up the door for her
And begged her to come in.
　　
So in the little kitty trots,
So trusting, so faith-filled
She has no clue that oh so soon,
She will be brutally killed.

He leads the kitty to her dish
And fills it with a treat.
But when she goes to eat it up,
He knocks her of her feet!

He lifts his knife in anger,
Ready for the kill
But just when he’s about to act,
He lost the will to kill.

What could he have been thinking?!

That puss is his best friend.
She may be difficult at times,
But he’ll love her till the end.

He drops the knife to hug her,
But she will not hear of it!
And when he pulls away from her,
He finds he has been bit!

He tries to help her understand;
To make this all work out,
But she has now picked up the knife
And chases him about.

The scene was very bloody
When the cat was finally done.
She quickly washed her hand of him,
Then turned around to run.

“Well, that’s exactly what you get,”
The puss thought with a sigh,
“When the only thing you really want’
Is for your cat to die.”
　
END

I get attached to people way to easily. I hate change to much. Is there a reason for this? The first fact can be a good thing. I've seen it. But what about the second? Flaw or just how I am?



Oh life... This melancholy roller coaster that taunts us at every turn.
It cruelly shakes us and throws us about. It seldom knows what its doing.
But that's alright, because the one who built the track did. Does. Always will.

Trust Him. He knows what he's doing.

Can't sleep.

It's late. I got home from youth group, read my notes, then tried unsuccessfully to sleep. So I got up to write to you all. I just need to tell you all that I love you a lot. Seriously. I don't cry. I just don't. but you guys made me bawl tonight. I love you all, and I need you to know that.
I just thought I should let you know. I love you. I'm here for you. And I'm sorry for any time in the future that I won't be there, like if I die, or move far away. ( I don't plan on either of those happening, but it's really up to God.) Those are all the words I have.

P.S. I love you... again.

summer skin.

It's August. I haven't blogged since June. What should I say?.... Well, I'm not going to walk you through my summer, because that would take to long. So I'll try to sum it up. (even though it's not quite over.)

Ok. so , I'm more confident in my choice to stay in St. Louis, but WAY less happy with the fact that i graduated early. It's starting to hit me... no, that's a lie. It hit me a while ago. But it's becoming more and more real to me that I will have to leave my friends. I still don't want to, and I still will be their friends, but I don't think it will be the same. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wonderfully mistaken. Maybe things won't change as much as I've been thinking they will....
Or maybe that's all just wishful thinking...I guess we'll find out soon.

Anyways, I like that Sarah moved back. I like seeing her more often. I really like those sisters of mine.

I wrote this the other day. and it kind of is about this summer. So I'll show you. Then I'll stop. Sorry if you don't understand this.

In the mountains, God was there.
In the air port, He was there too.
He was there in the heat.
He was with me under the bridge, and he walk with me down the tracks.
He was in the sky when it didn't seem real, and on the ground, when it was to real...

He was with us on the tower.
He was in the lights... on the hill.
He is the beauty that we felt,
And we don't see Him.
He is in us. Not just around us. Not just with us, but in us.

And before the mountains, He was there.
before I was there, he was with me.
His infinite, unfathomable love filled the emptiness than would be all of us.
Then it made me.
Then it searched me out relentlessly.
When it had it's hold on me, it filled me.
It overflowed.
And it works in me.
It is making me beautiful in time.

But to Him, I am beautiful.
To him I am light. A small light, but a light.
Because he is light.
And I am his child.
I am a child of light.